Classic Bad Salesman Energy: How Manipulation Masquerades as Conversation

We’ve all met them. The guy who smiles, nods, and asks you a question… but you can tell he’s not listening. He’s just waiting for the moment to pull out the script he already had in his pocket.

It goes something like this:

• “I’m pretending to care about you so I can get to the script I already had in my pocket.”
• “I’m pretending to inquire, but I’m really just using these questions to back you into a corner so what I’m selling looks like your only option. That way I can wash my hands of you, protect my ego, and if you don’t accept, I get to shame you as the bad one and blame you as the problem.”
• “I’m not actually interested in what you say — I just want to get the “W” for myself.”

That’s not conversation. That’s manipulation.

And people are sick of it.

The Script Behind the Smile

This approach shows up everywhere: in person, over the phone, online, in your DMs. It exploits genuine human connection — using curiosity and conversation as bait, only to funnel you into an agenda.

It’s not about you. It’s about the sale. The “win.” The scoreboard.

That’s why it feels so gross.

The Three Pretends

Pretend to care. Build false trust just long enough to pivot into your pitch.

Pretend to inquire. Use questions not as doors to understanding, but as traps designed to shrink someone’s options.

Pretend to listen. Nod, smile, repeat back a word or two — but the whole time you’re just steering the conversation back to what you wanted to say all along.

It’s not conversation. It’s a hostage situation with small talk.

Why It’s a Major L

The irony? This approach might create short-term wins for one side — but it fails in the long run for both.

• It undermines trust.
• It disrespects autonomy.
• It reveals ego, not service.
• It replaces opportunity with obligation.

That’s not how real growth or real change happens. It’s just fear and pressure in a friendlier package.

Where This Comes From

Here’s the uncomfortable part: this pattern doesn’t just show up in sales — it’s something most of us learned as kids.

We were literally raised under this approach. Taught right vs. wrong with it. Controlled with it. Even invited into maturity with it. No wonder it became a way of life as adults.

And what did that produce? Outward obedience at first — but inward resentment in the long run. And because we were told we were the problem, we carried the blame ourselves. We learned to wear a mask of “good behavior” while secretly resenting (and sometimes rebelling against) the very thing that claimed to be good but felt oppressive. And those who did rebel? They were scapegoated as the problem.

That’s the seed of bad salesman energy. We were conditioned to believe fear, guilt, and shame were the tools of change — so now we carry that same approach into adulthood, into parenting, teaching, religion, even sales.

Oops, is that too deep for this post? Oh well. You probably didn’t read this far anyway. Haha. See? Guilt and shame at work — justified in the name of teaching a standard, but really just protecting my own ego — and trying to control your behavior moving forward.

The Bigger Pattern

This “bad salesman” energy shows up in far more than religion or marketing. It’s in:

• Parenting that uses fear instead of presence.
• Teaching that shames ignorance as intentional mistakes.
• Leadership that confuses control with influence.
• Governing that treats people as problems to be managed instead of humans to be respected.

Fear + obligation might get short-term compliance. But it will never build trust, love, or lasting change.

The Alternative

Real conversations don’t need a script. They don’t need a scoreboard. They don’t need to trap someone into a corner.

Real conversations respect autonomy. They leave room for opportunity. They allow for growth without shame.

If you want to sell, serve.
If you want to lead, listen.
If you want to help, stop pretending you have their answer and solution.

Why This Matters for You

And this is exactly why I always tell people: I’m not here to “sell you a website.”

What I do is help you gain clarity — so you can see what actually matters for your business and take confident action. And I bring real ability in many areas to lighten your load — so you don’t have to carry it all yourself. But I charge for both.

Because here’s the truth: when it comes to websites and marketing, most people don’t just lack the skills to do it. They lack the clarity on why they’re doing it in the first place. Too often, it’s just obligation: “I guess I need a website because everyone says I should have one.”

Obligation doesn’t grow a business. Opportunity does.

TL;DR

Classic bad salesman energy. 👇👇👇

• Pretend to care just to get to the script in your pocket.
• Pretend to inquire, but really just corner people so your “solution” looks like their only option.
• Pretend to listen, but really just chase the W for yourself.

That’s not conversation. That’s manipulation. That’s obligation.

And people are sick of having their autonomy undermined and used against them. 🖕🖕🖕